Our video presentation 'Krishna Kanan' was relayed at 4:30 am by the Radha Krishna Foundation, USA official Facebook page on the auspicious eve of Krishna Janmashtami. The link of the same is shared on the Amrapali Society page. Please do check the wonderful presentations of the artistes from different countries. I'll be sharing our performance link very soon.
The photo I'm sharing today is very dear to me and also deeply associated with many unsaid things for many years. That big shield was the one that I won for the second time being 'THE BEST CLASSICAL DANCER' in All Assam Dance Competition, organised by Pratishruti organisation. This shield was to be kept with the winner for a year only and if won consecutively for the third time making a hattrick, then the organisation would honour the winner with this shield forever. Whenever the year comes to an end, I can't explain how I feel when I need to hand it over back to them, I would stay until the last hour. While handing it over I pray to God so that it comes back to me again. I was then studying in Class 9th and was ready to win it again for the third time. And while filling the form for this competition, I was told by my mentor that, "Let her also win" (tai ku tu olop jikibo diya). And this commanding request was for my contemporary who was consecutively scoring the second position from 2 years. And I was like tearful for some time and didn't know how to react. Should I obey or should I say that, let her win the next year after I receive the shield forever. Being timid and a silent soul and mostly because as a school going student, I didn't know to fight for my right. I just answered "okay" and returned back home and that very year my contemporary won the shield. I was saddened and deeply hurt, not because she won. Because they all being together removed me with my consent to win over me. Just 'my consent' and not involving my parents' consent though. Whereas they were all together with their parents being involved into this. This was not it, there then took several stories to take over me and that too with consent. I don't know if my contemporary won for the next 2 years to receive that shield for herself but years later, I could realize that I've been a real threat for many for my dancing contemporaries and even some seniors. Today also I don't know if this was to keep me away from winning the shield forever or that my contemporary also wants to feel the happiness of receiving it. But, could there be any sort of real happiness in receiving whatever this way? I believe in taking my dancing like a flowing stream, encompassing through whatever goodness or difficulties come to my way and I go ready for it. In no way, I will clear all obstacles coming on my way from time to time for my comfort and ease to receive my goal. This is actually losing it totally beforehand and admitting yourself as a weak competitor or performer. And that's not in my blood :)
Happy Sunday!
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